My family and I rarely visit the friendly neighbourhood Supermarket. How much ever the adverts try, they don't entice us into shopping for their products with "Rock bottom prices" or "earth shattering discounts".
Whenever we do its just the habitual, casual first-day-of-the-month-I've-got-my-paycheck-will-"splurge"-Look!-new-offers type of shopping. It isn't walk in the park actually, when we
have to go when the rush hour is at its annoying best.
Personally, I ain't a compulsive or impulsive shopper; I like to shop at my leisure albeit sticking to the list. My family, on the other hand, insists on shopping according to the "routine".
The "routine" is when the four of us are out to shop, it isn't
just shopping anymore, but rather turns into more of a military operation. My mom and I would be (wo-)manning the condiments and food-grain aisles and swiftly grab each item as if the Salvation Army needed it for their next mission to Rwanda. My brother and my dad station themselves with a cart each, eyeballing queued up customers for the next empty (or least crowded) spot at the cashier. We keep ourselves updated and communicated on our status with respect to the completion of our target list cum dossier (read:half-a-shopping list) via satellite communication (read:pointing at product and nodding vigorously or yelling at top of our lungs).
That's us. But I feel shopping becomes an "enriching" experience when you have some fun at it, without getting bored. Having said that, I present to you,
The Top 20 Ways to Kill Boredom while Shopping
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.
19. Jump into a shopping cart and try to race your way up to the exit screaming "I'm freeeeeeeeeeeee"
18. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms.
17. Challenge other customers to a duel as Darth-Vader with tubes of gift wrap.
16. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I believe we have a code 3 in housewares" and see what happens.
15. Convince you've lost your friend and insist that the announcer at the lost and found department announces: "Thoswana P Badlee, please come to the Lost and Found, immediately!"
14. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
13. When someone asks if they can help you, you begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people ever leave me alone?"
12. Block a lane with stray shopping carts leading to the Cashier and speak like a sage:
“Say the Magic Word. Only then shall you pass”
11. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
10. Take up an entire aisle in the Toys department by setting up a full scale battlefield with Pokemon and the Barbies.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
8. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible".
7. Switch signs on the Men's and Women's bathrooms.
6. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"
5. In the Auto department, practice your
Madonna look using different size funnels.
4. Take 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
3. Dart back and forth from the Cafeteria to the Restroom making retching noises. When have caught somebody's attention say: "It must be the (insert-name-of-food-they-are-eating)"
2. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
and the numero uno:
1. Go into the Changing Room and yell real loud...."Hey, we're
out of toilet paper in here!"
P.S.: Sniped some points from an e-mail. For more
click here
P.P.S. The blog and Gkam neither sponsors or advises its readers to implement/suggest/ameliorate on the above "enriching" activities nor takes the blame/guilt on the lawsuit filed against you by your friendly neighborhood supermarket.
In short: At your own risk... :P
