Saturday, January 9, 2010

Will power- (Blog-a-ton 6)

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 6; the sixth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.





Tick tock
Never before had time flown by so quickly.
Red oozed.
Staring at the paper, Lee closed his eyes and strained.
Everything went before in flashes.
Tick tock.
Eyes opened to stare at the paper.
He wrote: 'I, Lee, being of sound mind and…'
Door creaked. Gunshot.
Finally it read: '…NIL to my son.'
_______________






The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.


Edit1: My Dear readers, thank you for your comments and valuable feedback. They keep me motivated to write more and better. The essence of 55 fiction, I believe, is to keep the reader guessing till the end. I am a novice at this genre of writing, and on an impromptu decision I composed this post. Looking at the feedback, I shall put up my original thought process behind the post on 11th Jan 2010. All the best to all the participants! Thanks and keep reading!

Edit 2: As promised, here is my original POV:
Lee is an aging old man and has a son. The color pink represents his rosy picture that he had in his mind about his son. But, as time progresses and his son grows up, his rosy picture turns to a blood red color because of his son's greed. In the end, Lee's son kills his father, but to former's dismay; leaves him nothing (NIL) in his will.

56 comments:

  1. Dark.

    A bit of a background on what pushed him over the edge would have helped, unless I missed it : The red oozing before the gunshot threw me off ; as did the NIL part at the end..

    Father saw son's suicide note and shot himself ?

    sorry :-)

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  2. Care to explain honey??? I am pretty confused...no offence meant :)

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  3. Hello! If the purpose behind the post was to keep the readers guessing, I must admit you have hit bulls eye :) :) The mystery would have been much exciting with more clues :)

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  4. I guess I've figured it out but unsure if it is right..is it that the father wanted to disown his son from his will and that made his son shoot him? Or the man's son wanted to do away with him which made the latter disown his son? and old guy somehow managed to survive the first attempt to be murdered and wrote the will while he was bleeding to death and just when he had completed it, he was shot again? Is that the case?

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  5. @Madhu

    Nice guessing. I can see your perspective.
    Almost there! :)

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  6. @Lakshmi

    I will surely dear. Do tell me your interpretation!

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  7. @Raksha

    Do you happen to read alot of mystery novels? Because you've got it spot on! :)
    Kudos!

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  8. I figured out it had something to do with a will... n leaving nothin to the son...
    I wish u hadnt been so miserly with ur words though :P Wont hurt adding a little detail right... Anyways... Good work... I cud hav never thot of sumthin like this :D

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  9. I am guessing that he killed his son, for some reason before killing himself?

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  10. Aha ! I would never have guessed the plot fully gkam :-) . It made me come back !

    Raksha, You are good !

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  11. Hey that was fabulous! I'm not a fan of this 55 or 77 or whatever genre, but this was THE best I've ever read. Kudos!
    If you can create such an effect with mere 50 something words, I wonder how it will be when you write a lengthy story.
    Loved it to the core.
    All the best! :)

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  12. nice...reminded me of da first chapter of the da vinci code...only wid different charecters!!!

    well kept mystery...

    i think da word NIL created confusion...if u hv used nothing or not a penny...wud be easier fr dem

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  13. I am not sure whether I really got what you meant to convey through your poem, but whatever I got deserves appreciation.
    Nice post. :)

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  14. Oh!! A sad tale. I liked the intrigue in it!!
    Good one! :)

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  15. Nice! Precious words wasted in Tick tock tick tock I think...

    Mystery is really gripping... I see a gr8 55 writer in you!

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  16. @Lakshmi

    Haha. Ill keep that in mind next time.
    You should try this genre yourself!

    @Dreamer
    I see ur POV. But, does 'door creaked' indicate another perspective?
    Welcome to my blog!

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  17. @madhu

    :) Good to see u back!
    And good luck for the BATON!

    @Karthik

    Firstly, Welcome to my blog!
    Thank you for your comment. I really appreciate it. It was my first time at this genre.
    Will be over to ur blog soon to read some more. :)

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  18. @buckingfastard

    Thanku!
    Da vinci... I love the Dan Brown series. I guess this post defines my current frame of mind as I am reading 'Digital Fortress' at the moment. Have u read that?

    well, i thought NIL would be a better word as its used in Law related jargon.

    @Nethra
    Hello! and welcome to my blog.
    Thanku for you comment :)
    Actually, this genre of writing is called '55 Fiction' where one composes a post in 55 words or less.
    Keep reading and Good luck for BATON6! :)

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  19. @megha
    Thanks! :)
    A warm welcome to u here!
    Keep visiting and Good luck for BATON6


    @shilpa
    Thank you!
    Welcome to my blog! :)
    Keep visiting and Good luck for BATON6

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  20. @Saurabh

    Thank you for ur kind words.
    I would agree, a repetition of Tick-tock could have been avoided.

    Thanks for ur feedback! :)

    Keep visiting and Good luck for BATON6

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  21. I am too late to drop by so I got all the plot clear and loud.No Guessing is required. But I guessed that son shot the father before reading your explanation and I think you have written very nice 55 fiction.

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  22. OMG..what a 55 er...lovely...was spellbound..

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  23. Hey!
    it was brilliant...I so wish i had read it a little earlier... I read your version before I could put in my guess... so i kind of killed the suspense...this is the 2nd fiction 55 that I have read for the blog-a-ton. The first by Vipul and now u... u guys have changed my perception about this form of writing completely.... i didnt like it at all b4... now i love it...

    Cheers!
    Tavish
    Latest Blog Post: all in a day's work part 2

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  24. NIce one..though a little terse.. the explanation eased things out a litle bit. Keep on writing!

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  25. @pra

    I'm glad u liked it.
    Welcome to my blog! :)

    @geeta

    Thank u for ur kind words!

    Welcome to my blog! and keep coming :)

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  26. @Tavish

    Welcome to my blog!
    Ur comment is most kind.
    I'm glad my post was to ur liking and changed ur opinion about 55 fiction.

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  27. @abhishek

    I kinda figured an explanation would clear the air.

    Welcome to my blog! Keep visiting!

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  28. "haha! I really enjoy limericks :)
    Haiku is something new for me.
    btw, what does 'Random Dent' mean?

    Good luck for BATOM6!"


    Random Dent is Arthur Dent and Tricia McMillan's illegitimate daughter.

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  29. This was the best 55F I have ever read! This is really awesome and Raksha, your interpretation was too good!

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  30. a good opening..may I weave a story aound it???
    :)

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  31. @Aneet

    Ah! Thanks for the answer.
    And welcome to my blog.


    @Shruti

    Thanks so much! :)
    I'm glad u liked my post.
    Welcome to my blog and do keep coming! :)

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  32. @pushpee
    hello!
    welcome to my blog!
    thnx and sure :)

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  33. Your fiction 55 is compelling readers to write comment in more than 55 words! Isn't it amusing? :)

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  34. ***scratches head...scrolls up n reads again...scratches head...n suddenly scratching head feels good...so continues doing that***

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  35. I did understand only when i read the description ....
    may be i didn't read it the way it has to be.....
    I liked the way you have inserted and fabricated the colours of the pic into the post ....
    Good attempt :)

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  36. Hai!!
    Completely understood once I read the edited part 2!!
    Nice concept!
    Your profile picture and profile are interesting!
    Gonna follow you :)

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  37. Dark, bitter, and sublime..Loved it..One of the best 55 fiction that I have read! :)

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  38. have been hopping here now and then after BAT 6 but no new post...

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  39. 你可以從外表的美來評論一朵花或一隻蝴蝶,但你不能這樣來評論一個人........................................

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  40. 每個人生命中都可能遇到貴人,這些貴人不一定真的尊貴,他可能是陌生人,也可能是你的敵人。..................................................

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  41. gkam,

    Long time, no blog. I await more of this dark, quick genre of writing!

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  42. 若對自己誠實,日積月累,就無法對別人不忠了。........................................

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  43. @aativas It is indeed amusing :)
    @buckfastard will take it up shortly
    @blunt edges *scratches head wondering why BE is scratching* :P

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  44. @Mahesh Thanks i'm glad u liked it
    @yemiledu thanku dear :)
    @ashley You have made my day!

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  45. @Sui Wai, Cute, geeta: Thank you I have updated it. Do check it out and ur comments are invaluable.

    @Dee I'm baaack :D

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