Thursday, August 13, 2009

India: not so FAQ

With the schools and colleges closed and most paranoid Mumbaikars confined to their influenzaless homes- unless they brave outdoors only with a green phantom mask-I was bored and browsing through my e-mails when I came across this hilarious one I received ages ago. I ROFLed all over again! :D

The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have an excellent sense of humour.


Q: Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa- can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. ...... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in India? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into India? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? (France)
A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of...oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday night in Goa, straight after the hippo races.

Q: Can I wear high heels in India? ( UK )
A: You're a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: Do you have perfume in India? ( France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Q: Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? (Italy)
A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.

Q: Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A: No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades)


Happy Independence Weekend y'all!



(PS: Trying really REALLY hard to get outta "writer's block")
(PPS: Thanks to Rach for the e-mail :) )

20 comments:

  1. c'mon...If I am not killed of flu i'll be killed of laughter....and yeah foreigners do ask such ridiculous questions that makes u angry when u hear them first...but on the hindsight...good one..

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  2. that just redefined ROFL!!! :D:D

    hippo racing and sand paper took the cake...i doubt if these r actual replies from govt babus but whoever came up with these is downright hilarious!!! :D:D:D

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  3. @Tarun

    oh yea, that's true about foreigners
    damn silly qns sometimes


    @blunt edges
    lol
    yea, i lvd the hippo n sand paper bit, my faves.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ROFL!!!

    awesome answers. ur blog has definitely given a good start for the day. thnx

    ReplyDelete
  5. That was hilarious... :)Loved all the brilliant answers...and its sad to hear bout the H1N1 causing disaster...

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  6. "A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean"

    LMAO. Wow.

    I salute to the person who has answered all these questions. Simbly awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  7. LOL!... yeah, an old one! :)

    nevertheless, cracks me up EVERYTIME i read it!!

    Please get out of your block, else i will HAVE TO tag u! *sniff*

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  8. Givin it to the MAN!

    Loved the humor! Which is this website?

    ReplyDelete
  9. @Lakshmi
    Yeah, currently the situation seems to be in control.

    @Jyoti
    So do i!

    @Rach
    Tag moi. nOoOoOoooo.... :P

    ReplyDelete
  10. @Bullshee

    I dunno man, e-mail did not mention it.
    I doubt its a Govt. site. Doubt they give answers like this!

    @Shanu
    yeah! :)

    @Gayathri
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. those were some funny ques with funnier answers. if they are ll true then DUHH!! :O *rolling eyes* to all thoses stupid 'angerz' and if they arent, then whoever came up with them is a genius in her/himself!!!real good one!!!!

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  12. those were some funny ques with funnier answers. if they are ll true then DUHH!! :O *rolling eyes* to all thoses stupid 'angerz' and if they arent, then whoever came up with them is a genius in her/himself!!!real good one!!!!

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  13. U have been tagged sweetu :)

    Chk out my blog :)

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  14. Sand paper was too cool!!! I got one more on a trip to the US: Do you have English schools there??

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  15. @bliss
    thnx! keep coming

    @shanu

    yaar tussi gr8 ho ji, thnku! :)
    something to get me out of my "block"!

    @Nupur
    Lol !

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  16. OH Lord.. i hadn't laughed out so loud in days!

    loved the coming naked to hippo races bit
    so ROFL!

    :D

    ReplyDelete
  17. @Meghana

    hello there!

    welcome to my blog :)

    yep, it still cracks me up.. :D

    ReplyDelete

So, Is your glass half empty or half full? ;)

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